We are gradually creeping towards the end of 2015 and I have found myself reflecting on the past 10 months.When I think about what 2015 has been for me, I would probably categorize it as the year I took a step back.
There were no long distance races. In fact there was really no structured race plans at all. I relaxed my approach to a lot of things - diet, blogging, etc. It was the first year in a long time where I allowed myself to just be. If you have been reading from the beginning, then you probably noticed the shift this year.
If I felt like training - I did. If I felt like racing - I signed up. If I didn't - then I didn't. If I had something I wanted to write about - I would write. If I had nothing to say, then I said nothing. If I felt like drinking juice and eating salad - I did. If I felt like having a burger and fries - then I did that instead. It was the first year in a long time, where I followed no structured plan.
A big part of stepping back for me, was to re-energize and heal.
When I found myself having surgery #7 in November, I knew that I was getting pretty close to my breaking point. A lot has happened since I started writing this little blog in 2012. I had been tested many times over. And while I know I am capable of picking myself back up, I also know that it is not possible for me to do and be all things at all times. I was worn out. I was tired of working so hard, but ending up with the same result. My stress levels were extremely high. And I decided what I needed mentally and physically this year was rest.
A lot happened this year. A lot of great things. We bought our first house. I worked hard to gain a promotion at work. I spent a lot quality time with my husband, my family, and my friends. I worked on several fun side projects. But the pressure that I normally apply to myself to do all of that, while continuing to juggling a full training schedule, maintain a clean diet, and write consistently wasn't there.
I have put a lot of time and energy into creating a healthy lifestyle. It is something I am passionate about, and something I believe is important. But I was in a place, where I didn't have the extra energy to give anymore.
This was a hard and vulnerable place to be.
I had to recognize my own limitations.
I have spent much of 2015 in that place. I have struggled with it. In a world where everyone seems to be training for marathons, striving for PRs, and doing more all the time - I chose to do less. But I can also admit that this was what I needed this year.
Last month I started to get back into a more regular training program. I started to tackle some chronic issues with regular acupuncture treatments. I am meeting with a nutritionist this week to discuss how altering my diet can also help manage my issues with inflammation and acid reflux. And I have started writing more regularly again.
I think am finally in a place where I ready to start prioritizing myself again. So thanks for sticking with me
Love Your Favourite Darwinian Fail,