Monday, 20 April 2015

Wishing, Hoping, Thinking, and Praying

Saturday is going too be my first race of 2015, and it also marks almost exactly 5 months post-op.

My race schedule ramps up pretty quickly from here on out - with 3 races planned in the next 4 weeks. My primary goal race being the Mississauga Half Marathon on May 3rd.

My running and overall strength have improved dramatically from where I was just a few months ago. And I have generally been feeling happy about my training and progress.

One of the perks (*admittedly there are not many..) of having 4 surgeries in the last 3 years, is that I am no stranger to art of rebuilding. I have done it every season since I started seriously getting into distance running in 2012. Each season I have a surgery. Each season I rebuild. I know it is possible. I know what it takes. I have made mistakes. I have gotten frustrated. But in the end, I have learned to listen to and respect my body and the process along the way.

In this case, I think the 4th time is the charm. I think my surgeons finally got it right. And I think I rehabbed in the best possible way.

But as I creep closer to race day a little bit of doubt and race day anxiety creeps in.

I think every runner kind of panics as they creep closer and closer to their goal race. You start to question if you have trained enough. If you body will hold up at that pace for the full distance. If you are ready to go to that dark place and dig deep.

I think I have done the best I could with these last 5 months.
And Race Day will tell me if my body is ready.

The Mississauga Half Marathon is a net downhill course, so if ever the conditions were there to get that Personal Best, this one just might be it.

My goal is to run a solid 5:40/km pace (which is a 9:07/mile) for the first 16km. And then kick down to a 5:35-5:30/km pace (a 8:59-8:51/mile) for the final 5.1km. If everything comes together, and I can actually race the way I hope that should get me my sub-2 half and a brand spanking personal best.

But in the interest of Dreaming Big, but Respecting the Process. I understand I might not be there yet. So while I know what I wish, and hope, and think, and pray to do. I am also okay which just racing hard and finishing strong.

I have talked it over with Coach Michelle and she agrees, I will race hard over the next few weeks. And while a shiny Personal Best is always awesome, so much about the next few weeks is just about finding my confidence again and embracing racing post-op.

So heres hoping for Fast Legs and a Happy Heart!
Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,