for my double mastectomy and reconstruction. I was left with a body very different from the one I started out with.
My body altered significantly - I now have implants and a chest lined with two 3 inch scars, where my nipples used to be. My left side has an extra deep red scar an inch below my collarbone, that my cardio team uses as a revolving door to access my pacemaker/defibrillator.
Many things have changed over the past few years, not the least of which has been my attitude about my body.
Instead of worrying about the number on the scale, or comparing myself to some unattainable image in a magazine - I learned how to prioritize my health. I went through all of the above to be healthy. I crawled my way back to fitness time and time again to be strong. And I suddenly realized how grateful I was for everything that I had and everything my body was capable of.
It has been a change that has left a deeper impression on me, than my scars.
But over the past couple of weeks I have started to lose that strength and conviction.
I have been working on some things behind the scenes that have started to bring image to the forefront. And I have found myself scrutinizing the size of my thighs. Pinching my love handles and sighing with disgust. Berating myself for that Easter Chocolate I ate. And silently questioning, "am I enough as I am?".
We all have these days. Those days where that mean, negative voice inside your head starts to win. We all have that voice. We all have those days.
It is okay to have those days. But those days can't define us. That little voice is liar. That little voice is a bully. And that little voice needs to be silenced.
Today, despite my flaws, I can see the beautiful life I have been blessed to lead. The scars that mark my skin signify the hard battle I have fought and the strength this body possesses. It has been a tough few years, but I have learned how to love my body better now.
Today I thank my body for all that it is and all that does for me each and every day.
Never forget all that you are, or question what you are capable of.
Sending you all Body Love today!
Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,