Monday, 2 March 2015

Rebuilding is Hard...

I apologize things have been pretty quiet and a little sporadic around here lately. Truthfully, I haven't really felt like I had a ton to share. Rebuilding post-op is always arduous, kind of boring, and frustrating.

It is easy to slip into a pattern of negative self-talk. And that doesn't exactly make for the most uplifting positive training posts. So bear with me here...

When you are rebuilding - training is slow going. And it is easy to start focusing on the workouts you are not doing. The pace you are not hitting. How far you have to go. And how hard you have the work to get there.

I have definitely had moments over the past few months where I found myself wondering - "When/If I will ever get there again?"

I found out in August that surgery was inevitable, and training hard became more and more painful, so I have not trained consistently since. My body needed the break. And I think I mentally needed the break as well. But that means I am going to have to put in work to regain the fitness that I lost during my almost 6 month training hiatus.

2 weeks ago - while having a particularly frustrating training week (*I got my butt kicked by the flu*), I was asked to share my favourite Body-Positive Mantra for an article on Greatist and I found myself reflecting on this crazy little journey I have been on.

I think it is fairly obvious if you have been following along, that my journey has been far from perfect. I started running consistently 3 years ago, and in that time I have also had 4 surgeries. This is not the first time I have had to rebuild. And it is as mentally tough to do so this time around, as it was to do it the first time. But my journey has never been about perfection or ideal training. In fact it is probably the antithesis of that.

My journey has been about perseverance.

So with each set-back, with each challenge, I pick myself up. I dust myself off. And I try again. All the while reminding myself to take my own damn advice and...

Being able to train the way I train today is not something I would have ever thought possible 10 years ago. And the idea that I would be getting ready to run my 9th half marathon is hard to believe, even now. I am not the same person who started this journey 3 years ago. I am stronger. I have a great appreciation for my health and for my body. And I have Faith in how far I can go.
So let's do this!
Love Your Favourite Darwinian Fail,