Monday, 8 September 2014

Where I am right now...

Photo Credit Alyssa Wodabek

So I have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out Where I am Right Now.
  • Where am I mentally? 
  • Where am I physically? 
  • Where am I life-wise?
  •  And what do I really want? 
These are questions I have been debating for months. Last week I filled you in on some of things that I have dealing with this summer. And I confess that a huge part of my training struggle this year has been mental.

But I also revealed that my upcoming surgery didn't come as a huge surprise. And that is because things have not exactly been clicking either - typically on my long runs. During my long runs (usually 25+km) I have been struggling with swelling on the left side, some bruising, and just some general discomfort.

I am confident nothing disastrous will happen if I continue to train and run my Marathon. Primarily, because my cardio team gave me the green light. Cardiologists are notoriously conservative, especially when it comes to patients with robot hearts running marathons. Endurance Sports are typically things they are not very keen on. So regardless of my love of distance running, they would be more likely to advise against it, than they would be to support it.

But let's be honest and say that running a Marathon can be painful even if you are at full strength, so does it really make sense to take it on knowing I am not at my best? That is the big question.

I am torn. I don't want to give up, just to play it safe. But I also don't want to go out there and suffer through it, just to say I can suffer through it. (**been there done that**).

So I have decided to test the waters this weekend with one more long run.

I am going to run 26km with bits and pieces at race pace to see how I feel. This run is going to tell me Where I am. If the run goes well and I feel good, than the Marathon is go. If the run is bad and I have to battle through it, than I will drop down to the half.

I think at this point it just makes sense to train smart, take care of my body, and focus on health.
So we shall what the long run decides...
Love Your Favourite Darwinian Fail,