I never speak about religion, though I often receive questions about my faith. I think faith is beautiful, but it is complex. And what faith and religion means to one person, does not always translate to another. It is deeply personal, so it is a topic that I shy away from. But this past week has called my faith into question and I have struggled to find my peace.
I was raised in a Baptist home. We went to church most Sundays. I spent my summers at a Baptist Bible Camp. And then I went on to minor in Religion at University. My idea of faith and religion has evolved over the years, and I don’t know if you would call me religious in the traditional sense. Spiritual, is perhaps a better term. What I practice now probably resembles something closer to Buddhism than Baptism. But I have long felt that I have a very unique relationship with something greater.
To say that life has been complicated over the past ten year is probably putting it lightly. And there have been many moments where I have found myself asking “Why?”.
“Why me? Why now? Why this?”
But for every “Why?” I have put out into the universe I have always received answer. It can be hard to hear in the moment. Sometimes the pain and the sadness makes it difficult to find. But eventually with time and healing I always find the answer I was looking for.My struggles have become part of my story. Every struggle and every setback has led to something greater. I have grown, learned lessons, come out stronger, and more often than not happier because of the things I have faced.
Today I find myself again asking “Why?”. I know right now my grief is too powerful and my heart is too heavy. Today there will be no answers. But I know in time I will find it.
I know there is something greater.
Love Your Favourite Darwinian Fail,