Thursday, 10 January 2013

Fix A Heart

So the verdict is in. And this gal is heading back to the OR. After spending much of the afternoon kicking it at Toronto General - my fate was decided. Surgery is a must. Tweaks need to be made. And all of this is expected to go down in the next couple of weeks. I am just waiting for my official OR time

So I thought Demi Lovato's Fix a Heart was apt musical edition to today's post.

Because you can bandage the damage. 
But you never can fix a heart.

The reality of a robot heart is just this. There will be maintenance, complications, and surgeries. Those things are all very much a part of my world. This won't be the first - in fact this will be surgery #6. And I am well aware that it also won't be last.

At first the thought of heading back to the OR was devastating. The thought of going through the recovery  process all over again. Thinking about how much time and effort it took to rebuild after the last one. The changes this latest misadventure would have on my life and plans were all so overwhelming. The wounds from the last one were still very fresh in my mind.

But this is my life. 
And while these realities aren't ideal - I am grateful for it all none-the-less.

Being a badass bionic woman has its downsides. But there is no cure for Long QT syndrome, and this treatment has given me my life back.

I generally lead a healthy happy life. I run with abandon, train for marathons, and regularly get my sweat on without issue. And as mundane as some of that may sound - those are things that play a huge part of the life. I live a better life because of those things. And this is the life I want. I don't want to be a slave to my condition. And I want to be healthy and active for the rest of my life.

No limits, No excuses, Just endless possibilities. 
My little robot heart makes that all possible.

So while Surgery obviously isn't how I planned to start 2013, it means that I get to live the life I want. Don't worry about me. I'll be back. Stronger and Better than ever. And logging miles again before you know it.

Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,