Today is pre-op day, meaning I am just 5 short days away from Toasting the Ta-Tas and from Dday. So today I want address my boobies and say my fond farwell.
An Open Letter to My Boobies:
Well girls we have had a good run, but on Monday we shall part ways. I want you to know it is nothing personal. In fact some might say you gals are one of my best assets, so I will be sad to see you go. And I can only hope (and pray, and dream, and wish) that your replacements will even come close to measuring up.
We have had a good run - and while it is being cut short - we have still had a great 14 years together. I spent the entire 6th grade praying for you to arrive (yes, that was my biggest worry back then). And then I spent the entire 7th grade trying to wish you away once you had made your presence a little too noticeable for hormone riddled boys in my class. We settled into a fairly comfortable routine after that, and I started to enjoy your company. You made a welcome addition to most outfits. And you sure did make it easy to rock a bikini.
You have provided me with loads of show-stopping cleavage over the years. And I think I owe you a nod of gratitude, because you probably helped me land all over my former boyfriends, and even probably had a hand in my marriage. It will be sad to say good-bye next week, because you have been an integral part of my life as a woman.
There will certainly be things I miss, but I am choosing to put my health first. I wish things could be different. And there is part of me that still clings to the idea of growing old together. But that’s just it, isn’t it? We would never get to grow old together. Either because I simply would never get the opportunity to grow old or because you would inevitably become cancerous and all this would have to happen anyways. And while you ladies sure are fabulous, health trumps beauty every single time.
So on Monday we shall say our final farewell. Please know that you were loved and will be missed!
Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,