Sunday, 18 November 2012

My Weight Evolution

So I saw this a couple weeks ago on Erica's Blog and I loved this idea so much, that I decided to write my own Weight Evolution post.

Today I am proud to say that health, happiness, and balance are very much a part of my life. But that was not always the case. I have gone through the gambit in terms of weight and health. I have been overweight and inactive.  I have achieved a healthy weight by unhealthy means. And I have also just been straight up unhealthy - genetically speaking. It has been a journey a long time in the making, mistakes were made and lessons were learned, but eventually balance was achieved.

As a kid the idea of weight never really registered for me. I always felt like beautiful little princess (*something I definitely credit my loving family for*). I was always an active kid, but I don't know that anyone would have called me sporty. I danced and swam competitively for most of my childhood and into my teens. So being active was just part of my life.

We were always outside and running around growing up. I grew up in the country and was always out exploring the fields and forests nearby. I think my Mom would agree - I was very high energy kid - so you would not find me sitting still very often.
Because of this active lifestyle, and my picky eating habits, I was always a pretty scrawny kid as well. I was always one of the smallest in my class.


Not much changed when I entered high school. I was still dancing and swimming competitively and I never gave much thought to my diet. My scrawny appearance didn't waver much for the first few years.


Things definitely started to change during my senior year. The summer before my senior year started I began experiencing regular dizzy spells. And I lost consciousness for the first time while driving home from my summer job. And my feelings about my body took a dramatic turn from here on out as I navigated doctors appointments and the fear of my new diagnosis. Exercise was no longer allowed, and food was my comfort. The weight started to pile on.
That's me on the left
When I look at these pictures now - my pain is so obvious. I was depressed. I was scared. But I had no idea what to do - so I ate.  I ate a lot. Because eating my feeling away was easier than saying I am having a hard time accepting my diagnosis. Because food didn't judge me and made me feel good. Because I was also in a place where I hated my body (a place I still go sometimes). So taking care of it and putting effort into it - just wasn't something I was about to do.


It took me awhile to realize that reality. At first it was just a couple of LBS and a bag of chips to ease the stress of my fresh diagnosis. Then a few more. My clothes were no longer fitting, but I was busy trying to find a treatment that worked for my condition so... There was some more stress eating and that had some how added up to 50 extra lbs. And then it was even more...It took me awhile to accept that I was in fact FAT. To accept that I had let myself get to this point.


One night, while struggling to find clothes that fit and contemplating just staying home so no one would have to see how chubby I was, it clicked. There wasn't going to be a quick fix. It was time to get started and now was the time.   

So I started making small changes. I started a food diary. I started writing down my goals and telling people that I wanted to lose weight to keep me accountable. I took my first ever yoga class. I starting drinking 1-2 litres of water daily. I gave up meat and embraced veggies. I started to love myself again. I started going to the gym. I rode my bike to work. And eventually I started running. I started to see what I could accomplish. I started to realize that I was stronger than my diagnosis. And by the end of summer break, before beginning my third year of university I had lost 55 lbs in 5 months. 
 

I have kept the weight off for almost 8 years now, but it was definitely a struggle to find a happy balance. My weight fluctuated between gaining and losing the same 5-15 lbs over and over again. I would never go so far as to say I had an ED. But I battled with food. There was lots of crazy restrictive eating phases, promptly followed by a junk food binge, promptly followed by excessive exercise. It was a cycle of guilt and negativity. I wasn't thin enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I didn't measure up. I simply was not enough.

And then all of sudden...this year, when I had to face what was really important - nipples and a banging bod or health - a major change started to happen. I chose health. I chose health in the most extreme and rudimentary sense. 

I wanted to run - not too be thin, but to be healthy. I wanted to eat nutritious meals - not to lose weight, but to take care of my body. I went to yoga because I wanted to thank my body and feel balanced. I found myself happy, healthy, and and strongest I have ever been.
 Because I learned to LOVE myself!

I stop seeing a girl who wasn't enough, and started seeing a girl who was worth it. 

It took me a long time to get here, but I am so glad I made it.
Remember that you are worth it!
No gimmicks or fads required - just whole foods, sweat, and love!
Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,
Krysten  

39 comments:

  1. Krysten - I love everything about this post. I love your honesty. I think so many of us have gone through phases similar to yours (though not the cancer thing - yet another reason why you are a BADA$$!). and I especially love that you are at a place where you want to be healthy (not skinny), just healthy. LOVE it.

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  2. What a great post! 55 lbs in 5 months is truly amazing, as well as maintaining for eight years now! You are truly an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story. xoxo

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  3. Bloody brilliant! It's great to read other stories like this - I know I am not alone, and I can always see the end when I read motivation like this. XXXX

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  4. This is a great post! It took me a long time to be kind to my body at all stages. Thanks for the additional reminder!

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  5. What a wonderful post! And my favorite part other than your big smile at the end is this "No gimmicks or fads required - just whole foods, sweat, and love!" It's so true!

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  6. Beautifully written! In your "before" pictures I actually had to look hard to realize which one was you. I love your attitude about everything. Congrats on being a fabulous success story!

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  7. wow.
    knowing you now not then it's amazing to think you werent always super fit.
    THANK YOU for sharing.

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  8. Life takes many twists and turns and so does our health it seems. It's so easy sometimes to look for the 'magic bullet' when in reality the answers are simple. Kudos to you!

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  9. I love this post and hearing more of your story, especially this - "I stop seeing a girl who wasn't enough, and started seeing a girl who was worth it." xoxox

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  10. greatttt story! I really never would have guessed you had any weight to lose, I think it's important for us all to realize that looking healthy takes some work mentally and physically

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  11. This is so wonderful. So many people struggle with finding a balance that is healthy. We wavier from one to extreme to the next with weight, from not caring about it to obsessing about it. Finding that "healthy balance" is soooo important for both physical and mental health. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  12. LOVED this!! What an inspirational post for people dealing with weight loss issues! You've come so far.

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  13. love this! you're amazing and SUCH an inspiration

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  14. I love this post and how you put everything out there! Your story is real and so are your results and you did it the RIGHT WAY. You're an inspiration for so many whether you know it or not :)

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  15. You're an inspiration, you, your fitness, your blog, everything you write tells the reader that you have suffered, then have come out stronger and with more clarity. We learn how to overcome adversity from your willingness to share these intimate details, what a gift you have given us. Thank you!

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  16. You are so awesome!! Congratulations on all you have achieved!

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  17. This is so inspiring!! Thanks for sharing!

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  18. Another amazing post, Krysten! Thank you for sharing.

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  19. Great post! I love your honesty and the way you dealt with your body image. I went through a similar journey and it's so great you are at a happy place! :)

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  20. It must have been a hard post to write but good for you for getting it down. I wish you continuted success on your journey.

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  21. I still struggle with being nice to my body. Especially during pregnancy. I know this is all natural and normal but I struggle when I look in the mirror.

    Thanks for the reminder! Great post!

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  22. Beautiful post, Krysten. I think a lot of people put on weight for the same reasons, it's hard to process life in the rough stages. I'm so impressed with your ability to pull through, get healthy and get to a place where you love yourself for you. You are definitely lucky to have grown up with a supportive family! Thanks for sharing your story!

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  23. Great story Krysten, its important for others to see its a journey (sometimes a long one) to find our health and develop healthy relationships worth food.
    Great stuff - thanks again for being so open.

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  24. Such a beautiful post! I'm so happy that you're happy and in such a great place with your body and self-image. Totally bookmarking this for when I feel down on my body. You're a rock star!

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  25. Thanks so much for sharing Krysten!! Your story is definitely inspiring and motivational - you're beautiful no matter what!

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  26. LOVE & understand this! I especially understand when you wrote this: I wasn't thin enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I didn't measure up. I simply was not enough.

    I am so glad you found the true you!!! It is hard work physically & mentally but all worth it!

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  27. It's so nice to know that we've all been through the ups & downs of the weight evolution. You're a doll for sharing!

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  28. Amazing post. When I think of you I see a strong, beautiful, brave, powerful woman. You have overcome so much and come out stronger. Such an inspiration.

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  29. Great post! Wonderful transformation! ~Laylaruns

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  30. Love this post so much! the evolution, the struggles, all of it. You look fantastic now, inside and out, just beautiful! Very inspiring!

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  31. Beautiful, beautiful post. I love that the inner transformation highlights the outer...and it makes you an even more beautiful person. For being the strong woman you are.

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  32. This is amazingly beautiful and inspirational! You are beautiful inside and out now and just as much then, but now you're shining! XO

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  33. Such a lovely post... as always.

    I was enjoying the evolution of your hair as well. Sorry, I get easily distracted.

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  34. AMAZING :) you're such a great writer and get straight to the heart of the importance of being healthy and making it a priority for yourself. All the rest follows :)

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  35. You continue to amaze me. Your positivity and strength inspire me everyday. You are eloquent and beautiful and I only hope to have a fraction of the courage that you do one day. Thank you for sharing :)

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  36. What an inspiration! Just want I needed to read this morning. Thank you!

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  37. Love this! Trying to have this journey right now!

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