Monday, 18 June 2012

Motivation Monday - Bikini Boobie Dilemma

It is June. The sun is shining. The temperature is rising. Short shorts, and tiny tanks are all the rage this season. And the beach is starting to call your name.

Nothing like the sights and sounds of summer to make a girl feel body conscious? This happens every year. You wake up to find that winter hibernation is over and all of sudden your wardrobe does an about face. You flashing more leg. A little cleavage is expected. And then it is bathing suit season....Dun-dun-dun!

That evil dread word - Bathing Suit. Something about having to putter about in public wearing nothing but a few strips of fabric sends most of us reeling. This piece of clothing (or lack there of) is always a source of body image hysteria and anxiety.

So imagine adding to that body conscious moment - a set of new boobs and enough scars to be able to double as the Bride of Frankenstein. It just took the pain of bathing suit season to a whole other level! The trauma of the whole ordeal is enough to drive a girl indoors until turtlenecks are appropriate again.

Enter Patricia from Veronica Brett. Patricia is a fellow Darwinian Fail and BRCA+ gal who knows all too well the harsh and very real actualities of choosing to toast the Ta-Tas. She used her own experience and the experience of the women in her family to create an adorable swimwear line perfectly suited for those of use with reconstructed boobies. (*Halleluiah*)  

Perfect Beach Day
Because the reality of these newly reconstructed boobies is - that while they are generally a pretty good aesthetic substitute they are not exactly ideal. Both breast are now marked with two large 4 inch scars across the front of them, instead of nipples. And while that is less of a concern when I am dressed and covered, they become all too obvious when trying on the skimpy bikini styles that are oh-so fashionable these days. Those little cleavage baring triangle tops offer little to no coverage. And many of the other "reconstruction friendly" companies offer only borderline ugly and completely matronly alternatives.

How my beautiful swimsuit arrived

I am going to give myself a pat on the back and say job well done on the body image front post-op. I have officially had only 2 tear-filled rants since Dday - which I am going to go ahead consider amazing. I have generally been pretty accepting of my new assets, and spent the last three months just enjoying being healthy. But even I must admit I have been shying away from the whole beach and bathing suit situation. In a bikini your body is really out there. The boobies are definitely on display. And while I proudly shout my BRCA status and joke about my many Darwinian Failings here on my little blog for the whole world to read, it is a whole other thing all together to proudly display the scars of that battle. To accept the curious and questioning stares of strangers who pass by on the shore. I can't exactly walk around with a sign that reads "Darwinian Fail" and explains why my body looks the way it looks or why my breasts are fake. It is a source of anxiety and an area I am still working on accepting.

So when Patricia contacted me and asked if I would like to try a new boobie friendly bikini, I was beyond excited! And this weekend when I finally had the opportunity to take my new bathing suit out of a test drive, it was a big moment. This was me saying,
"No, I am not perfect. I have scars, fake boobs, and a robot heart. But I am okay with that. And I am gonna rock this bikini anyways!"
And you know what? I had a GREAT time doing it!
Love Your Favourite Darwinian Fail,