May has been hard. Because mentally I was ready to shake off all the dark yuckiness of surgery and BRCA - but they were still holding my body hostage.
I wanted to be out running. I wanted to be training 5, 6, heck even 7 days a week. I wanted to get moving. I wanted my body back. I wanted my life back. I wanted to feel like me again.
But despite this serious drive and desire to do all these things and more. And despite my OCD-style color coordinated schedule and overflowing To-Do lists, I just couldn't.
The tears are welling-up in my eyes as I write that statement - but "I just couldn't". That is one of the hardest things for me to say and to accept. But that my friends is the honest to goodness truth.
I couldn't do it.
I would run a couple of labored and difficult kilometers at the beginning of the week and then would find myself exhausted and curled up on the couch for the rest of it. Things I loved doing were hard. My lungs burned. My legs hurt. My chest was on fire. And I was mad. I was mad at my stupid genetically defective body and my ego was bruised - VERY bruised.
Confession: even with all my talk about Body Evolutions and Marvelous May - this past month didn't exactly turn out how I had planned.
I am *almost* 11 weeks post-op and I am starting to feel more and more like myself everyday. I have done my first proper training week since my surgery, and I don't feel horrible. I still cannot do a proper push-up. And the left side of my chest is still sporting a perfect pacemaker sized bruise. But I am getting there.
At the beginning of the month I asked you guys to join me on my evolution for a chance to WIN some awesome prizes from Sparkly Soul and Neocell Sport, and even though I'm not sure that I can categorize this month as a success - it has been a work in progress.
So I am THANKFUL for the progress I have made.
I want to hear about your month and give you guys some GREAT PRIZES from 2 of my FAVOURITE companies for a job well done (or a work in progress - we won't discriminate over here).
So if you want a chance to win either....
A. Some SPARKLY loveliness from SPARKLY SOUL
B. The Pomegranate Capsules and Collagen + C Serum from NeoCell to help you Sparkle from the inside out
Then you have 2 options...
1. Head over to my Facebook Page - and leave a comment telling me your goals for May and how the month went/is going
2. Leave a comment here sharing your May story
You get a new entry for each comment or post that you leave - so feel free to leave daily goals for more bonus entries. Facebook me like crazy until May 31st. (which is when the winner will be randomly selected)
Love Your Favourite Darwinian Fail,