Sunday, 11 March 2012

Surgery Update

Surgery is complete and I am home. I have spent this past week just generally being still. Moving hurts. It really hurts. And if I lie down, then I am probably not going be able to get back up again. Deep breaths are painful. And whatever you do, do not make me laugh - that really hurts! I have also been wishing that I used the last 8 weeks to work on my core - instead of training for a half marathon - because damn I could really use the extra muscles right now!

Monday was rough.
And it was rough in ways I never expected.

I was surprisingly calm when Dday actually arrived. Jamie and I were at the pre-surgicial admission clinic before 6 am and I was in my sexy blue gown in no time at all. Things moved quickly after that, because I was the first surgery of the day. My tears started when I had to say good-bye to my husband, and I was forced to accept what I was about to do. That feeling admittedly didn't last very long though, because within minutes I was in the OR and the drugs were flowing. I woke up 4 hrs later in a complete haze with no boobs, no nipples, a new ICD, and a set of shiny new implants.

I was sore and that afternoon was a hazy blur. People were in and out of my room regularly poking and prodding at me, but shortly after 4 pm that happy poking and prodding become slightly more frantic. Lots of questions were being asked. And as more time passed and more doctors came to visit, it became clear that I was going to have go back to the OR. I was bleeding on the left side and the drains they put in just weren't gonna cut it. They had to go back in and stop the bleeding ASAP.

I was devastated. I thought I had already done the hard part and I was scared. The nurses has insisted I drink water like it was my job to help combat all the meds. And they asked that I try to eat something -which I had. But now they were having to put me back under an anaesthetic all those fluids I had taken in were a problem. I was panicking. But I didn't have a choice. At 7 pm I was going back to the OR for another 2 hours to get the bleeding under control.

I woke up with a fat lip, 2 black eyes, covered in bruises, along with all the rest. Monday was rough.

I am happy to say that things are getting better. Monday was the worst day during the course of this journey, and it has been getting better little by little everyday. Each day I know I am going to get a littler stronger. Each day I can do a little bit more. It is just going to take some time.

Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,
Krysten

25 comments:

  1. It's so wonderful to hear from you and to learn that you are well. Sorry that Monday was so rough, but sounds like the worst is over, and I hope you continue to get better and stronger every day. I know you will show your body who's boss! Keep it up, Krysten; keep Sparkling.

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  2. Hang in there Krysten - sending our sparkly thoughts your way for a quick recovery! You are strong and sparkly and every day will get better! xo Sparkly Soul

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  3. You have an amazing outlook and you are right it will get a little better everyday. We're all rooting for you!

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  4. Thinking about your Krysten! You are so brave!! And so strong! I hope that each day gets easier and easier for you! Wishing you a very speedy recovery.

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  5. my first comment disappeared (i think ). So glad to hear from you. You have an amazing outlook and things will get better everyday, just like you said. We're all rooting for you!

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  6. oh I'm so glad to finally hear how things went!

    it sounds scary as hell but I'm glad you're resting and recovering ... I shall come over soon and only bring very sad movies (so you don't laugh) and speak in a very sombre tone :P

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    1. Hubs and I have been watching Parks and Rec. So funny! But such a bad idea giggle wise!

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  7. I've been checking back in to see your update on surgery. I am so sorry that it did not go according to plan. I know we don't know each other but you have my support from Richmond, VA. I'll be thinking about you as you recovery and I'll take your hint about the abs! I've got 5 months to get my abs back into shape after having two kids. Thanks for the tip! Good luck and keep resting. I hope each day will be better than the last!

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    1. Thanks Erin! I know this can be a tough process, so if you ever want talk surgery specifics or you have any questions while you're going through the process you can definitely email me any time ksibabishop@yahoo.com

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  8. hugs! this brought back so many memories. I went through ALL of the feelings (physically speaking) you are now not that long ago when I had my ovaries removed. I remember friends visiting me and making me laugh and then feeling awful because it would reduce me to tears because of the pain... it will go away within a week or so!

    sounds like you lost a lot of blood, i'm assuming because of the black eyes and what not. oooof. but at least NOW - the hard part is over, now you rest and heal and remember that you are SPARKLY and we LOVE you.

    my best piece of advice is to be able to laugh at yourself. What I went through is not nearly the same as what you are - but I was a hunch back waddling penguin for quite some time and i'm glad I had a thick enough skin to make fun of myself. It really made me feel better being able to laugh about it (even if laughing did hurt at first...)

    hugs

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    1. Thanks girlie! It really does get better every day. It is slowly a little but easier to move, to bend, to laugh. You gotta be able to laugh at yourself, otherwise its gonna be a long sombre life. Thanks for thinking of me! xo

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  9. We're all thinking of you and sending big hugs your way!!! You are such a tough woman!!

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  10. Glad to hear you are ok! You are so strong! Hang in there!

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  11. Tough stuff! Happy to hear that is behind you and that you are resting and healing!!

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  12. Wow. I'm so glad you're doing well, it's so wonderful to hear from you.

    Thinking of you all the time. XOXOXO

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  13. Been thinking about you a ton this week. So glad that you checked in and that things are moving in the right direction. You are one tough cookie. =) xo

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  14. You're in everyone's thoughts Krysten. I hope the worst is now over. xo

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  15. You hang in there! I'm sorry Monday went horribly awry, but I spent the day in prayer for you and your family. Your story is currently lighting a fire for knowledge about BRCA that will never be put out. Take your time and heal well. Here if you need anything.

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  16. Krysten, This brought tears to my eyes. You are so brave. You will get through this to run again. Wish I could take your pain away. Keep your sense of humor, have faith, and you will get through this. You have a lot of love from your online family! Hugs, Heather2run. PS-Congrats on that half marathon! Amazing!!

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  17. I've been thinking about you all week. It's so nice to hear from you and glad that you are home recovering. I'm so sorry that Monday was so rough. You will get stronger and better each day but just remember to take it one day at a time. xoxo

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  18. You are not my favorite Darwinian Fail; you are my favorite Krysten! Core strength certainly would have helped, but your attitude is the best thing to have. So I think you did the right thing to do your race. You are amazing. And why do you look so great after surgery? That part makes me seriously envious!

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  19. i'm happy to hear that you're home, safe and sound! it sounds like a rough day at the hospital but i'm glad the docs were able to fix you up quickly.

    i chuckled at your 'wishing you'd spent more time on your abs' comment - I felt the same way after my knee surgeries. I'd focused on my arms for crutches but soon found out that i should have spend some time on my booty muscles! standing on one leg for 6 weeks was hard work on my leg and glutes!

    again, glad you're home and recovering - take it easy these next few weeks! you'll be back at it in no time :)

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  20. Hey babe! I'm so happy to see you're up and writing! I hope that you're feeling better today and each day gets a little easier. I'm sending you lots of good thoughts!! <3

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  21. Hey Krysten

    This is incredible stuff. I had no idea you were going through all of this.

    Wishing you the best old friend.

    Noah

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  22. Thinking of you! Hoping the healing process goes smoothly :)

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