Monday, 2 January 2012

The Dreaded Resolution

Planning Planning Planning
Confession #1: I am a Resolution Queen.

I love that clean slate feeling that comes along with a new year, a new month, a new week, heck even a new day or a new project. I am always making lists, discussing new tactics, developing strategies. I am self-proclaimed Type-A perfectionist. And one who regularly creates ambitious plans that spread herself too thin and with little room to faulter. I am an all-or-nothing kind of gal. I always get swept away in the excitement of creating this ideal idea of a balanced and fabulous life/routine. But as I mentioned in my last post I am slowly (ever so slowly) starting to evolve as person, and I am beginning to wonder if starting 2012 off with an "Amazing or Bust" attitude is really the way to go.

Confession #2: I am struggling to get excited about 2012

So despite my love of the new year and the idea of a fresh start...I don't feel like I am beginning 2012 with a clean slate. I feel like I am carrying over a lot of baggage and incomplete goals from 2011. I am having a hard time getting excited for what's to come this year. Everyone is running around sharing all these positive sentiments about 2012. "Happy New Year". "Its going to be a GREAT year". "We are going to have the best year yet". You know all of those lovely things people say after the clock strikes 12:00 on January 1st. And I am trying (really trying) to bask in these positive vibes, but all I can think about is the long road ahead. And I don't feel all that jazzy about it. I am thinking about the grand plans and resolutions I want to make, but wondering how feasible it will all be looking ahead at the challenges yet to come.

My first run of 2012
Okay, okay, okay... I also know that being a Negative Nancy for rest of 2012 is not a great plan either. So I have decided to adopt a slightly more balanced approach to this year's Resolutions. Instead of setting lofty goals for the entire year when I have no time line for my surgery and I am unsure what this year will bring. I have decided to work on monthly goals instead. At the beginning of each month I will assess my progress, my tentative time lines, and my goals - making changes when necessary. Thus, allowing myself some wiggle room for that small and trivial thing called...LIFE. I am hoping this process will keep me focused and positive (clearly a department I am lacking lately).

So without further are my goals/resolutions for 2012. I have split them into two categories: Big Goals and Little Goals. The Big Goals are long-term plans with *tentative*  and *hopeful* time lines, but may require some fanangling as the year progresses. The Little Goals are my goals for the month. These include the smaller steps required to get me to those Big Goals.

Big Goals:
Okay so obviously being healthy is really important to me - even more important now than ever. And with all of 2012's upcoming challenges I know I want to face them being the healthiest me I can be. The strive for half marathon and full marathon status is something I have longed to accomplish for a while now, and 2012 is going to be my year to do it! I MUST! I MUST! And because I live in Toronto and our fair city offers 2 major races - I want to run my half in the spring and train to run my full in the fall. This is an ambitious plan and I feel a little nauseous posting this here. My little blog has helped to keep me accountable this past year, so I know you all will help me reach my goals! And I am also hoping that training for these races will help me bounce back post-operatively. The reason I have place *tentative* in front of those time lines is again because my surgery is still a giant question mark and running either distance will not be possible if I am still in my early recovery stages. So...I am hopeful that I will be given a date in the next month-ish and that these time line can be fixed and feasible. Finger crossed for me people!

And the Grad School is part of the bigger picture and creating the life I want. I started my second degree in Psychology a few year ago. I went back to school at night, while working full-time, to be eligible for my ideal grad school program. This has probably been one of the hardest things I have ever done. Trying to balance everything; work, family, health, school, and life has worn me out. And if you have been reading, you know that I chose to take this semester off for a much needed break and to focus on my health before my upcoming surgery. But this is also one of my greatest areas of frustration. I saw myself at a certain place in this process at this point...and I am not there yet. But by this time next year I will be applying for Grad School. I MUST! I MUST! 2012 is going to be my year of TRIUMPH! 2012 you have been warned!

Little Goals:
  • Try new recipes, cut out processed foods, and eat clean for the entire month of January
  • Drink 2 litres of water daily
  • I'm trying some new vegan recipes
  • Up my mileage this month and incorporate longer runs (all while tracking it on the Daily Mile)
  • Balance out my longer runs (and the cold weather) with Hot Yoga and Hot Pilates
Okay so that is the plan folks. I will update you all on this months progress, and I will revisit my goals with you on the 1st of every month. Wish me luck!

Love your Favourite Darwinian Fail,